if you have met me, drunk a beer with me, sung a song or written a poem with me, slept in my bed, been my friend or colleague – you have experienced life with a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and abuse in adulthood.
Almost 14 years ago, on my 14th birthday, I became part of the growing number of young girls and women who experience violence. I knew him, he was my stepfather, a prominent police officer. He was largely respected, trusted and admired.. No one knew the secrets that were kept behind the closed doors of our home and continued to be perpetrated for almost five years. The police, some years later, concluded too much time had passed and there was a lack of evidence to sustain a criminal trial. He is still subject to a South Australian Police internal re-investigation after it was initially found there was not sufficient evidence to warrant him losing his job. He was demoted one rank and suspended for 12 months while the case is re-investigated. He still remains married to my mother.
The impact of trauma on my life is far reaching and indescribable… There is not an area of my life that abuse hasn’t touched – even the city i live in, the ability to remain close to my supportive family members, has been compromised. I have had to re-establish my life in a new place, something I did not choose or desire, but found neccesarry if i was to live according to my full potential. I experience everything from crippling anxiety and depression, to intrusive thoughts, self harm and flashbacks, I have been in hospital several times, attempted suicide and come extremely close to suceeding on more than one occasion.
Last year. I was also physically and sexually assaulted. whilst in drag. It was an event that shook my very fragile sense of identity and one that I cannot really talk about in any depth without becoming upset But being the victim of a hate crime has lead me to realize that as a newly identifying person of gender diversity we have a role to play in promoting an end to violence against women. This series of blogs will contain articles specifically relating to hate crimes, my experience of them and the impact of gender based violence on transwomen. We cannot under any circumstances ignore the fact that many campaigns do not take into account the fact that transwomen are almost twice as likely as their non trans counterparts to be targeted for violence be because of their gender (or transgender as it would be) I have the absolute priviledge as a trans man of being able to bring this to light.. and I absolutely promise to do so.
I am blogging because it’s too fucking important to be kept in dark any longer.. I have the honour of bearing witness to so many women’s brave struggles. Stories that I hold in my heart and as a newly identifying male, promise not to perpetuate, but to use the gifts I have been given to eradicate.